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House of the Dragon’s death, broken by an MMA expert

This week Dragon’s House brought so much to the ceremonial table: scheming power couples, bold fashion choicesand finally, a particularly nasty brawl.

That’s the last bit that we’re here to talk about today.

[Ed. note: Significant spoilers follow for the fifth episode of House of the Dragon.]

One of the episode’s biggest events is the wedding between Rhaenyra Targaryen and Laenor Velaryon, cementing the bond between Rhaenyra Targaryen and Laenor Velaryon. two powerful Westerosi houses. As is often the case with political marriages, the couples keep an eye on others: namely, their mistress, Ser Criston Cole and Ser Joffrey “The Knight of Kisses” Lonmouth.

At the wedding, Ser Joffrey deduces that Ser Criston is his partner in this four-way relationship. Joffrey tries to strike up a conversation, saying he knows of Criston and Rhaenyra’s secret, and advises the two knights to seek each other out.

That’s just… lousy. Soon, a commotion broke out on the dance floor, with Criston on Joffrey’s head, whale in his face with abandonment recklessness. It’s a mind-boggling scene straight from a modern MMA fight (albeit with a fighter in full armor).

Laenor Velaryon and Ser Joffrey Lonmouth looked into each other's eyes at Laenor's wedding.

Photo: Ollie Upton / HBO

Luckily, I work in the same place as MMA Fighting, the best MMA site in the business. So I reached out to senior reporter Damon Martin, who also describes himself as a “huge” fan of the Game of Thrones universe.

Martin was impressed by Criston’s horizontal swing, and compared the knight’s technical approach to that of heavyweight Curtis Blaydes. But he said that the young boxer can still continue his fight.

“Credit to Criston Cole for his technique with a quick knockdown and move into the ride where he just started delivering blows to the ‘Knights of Kisses’ who really needed to. defensive effort on the ground, although now it looks like he said Martin. “The only real improvement Ser Criston needs to make is to put some elbows to punch if he really wants to do maximum damage, but he seems to be doing just fine with his fists. .”

As for Joffrey, the loser of this particular battle – there’s no official confirmation of his condition, but he certainly looked awful at the end of the exchange – Martin offered some notes on how he was able to avoid his bloody fate.

“Poor Joffrey just never got a chance to show off any of his fighting skills once he was on his back,” he said. “It seems he never took a grappling class in all the years he served House Velaryon in Driftmark. At the very least, Joffrey should have known how to guard against a larger, stronger opponent to keep him close so he could at least minimize the damage he was taking. Making Ser Criston struggle to get free and throw punches would probably tire him out, as he had about 80 pounds of armor at the time.”

Ser Criston Cole put a knife to his stomach in a lawn in the House of the Dragon.

Photo: Ollie Upton / HBO

What about Criston? We see at the end of the episode Queen Alicent stops him from killing himself. If Criston puts his mind to it, Martin thinks he could become a real star in the world of Westerosi MMA.

“Ser Criston seems like a complete package,” says Martin. “He has strength, speed and ruthlessness that will likely take him far in future battles. But fighting with emotions can be a double-edged sword, so he may want to control his anger. Because the day will come when Criston will encounter a formidable opponent who can take advantage of his inability to separate work from a more personal affair.

“If he continues to work on that wrestling, he might fight for the WFC belt one day (Westeros Championship, of course).”

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