The Case For Giving Guys Flowers


Not long ago, a Cup of Jo reader left a comment, describing how she gave her 85-year-old neighbor flowers to thank him for helping her with a chore. “No one has ever given me flowers in all my life,” he told her in surprise.

I can’t stop thinking about that. It feels so ancient, but why are flowers so often seen as a gift for women? Why are men not included more often? Who’s mood wouldn’t be lifted by a fresh scent and burst of color?


So this week, to thank Alex for tackling all of the parenting in seven days while I had CovidI pick flowers from bodega.

Alex Williams nyc

Portrait of a guy who has never received flowers.

I said to him, “This is for you.

“Me? Is it true?” His jaw gaped. “I have never received flowers. Wonderful “.

Standing in the kitchen, I laughed at his surprised expression. “This feels like a surprise party,” he said. “For the first few minutes, I was just shocked.”

Alex then points out that guys often get utility gifts, like keychains or cast iron pans. “Almost every male gift focuses on some form of tool. Even a nice sweater or a bottle of wine has a purpose,” he says. “But with flowers, there is no other purpose than to bring enjoyment. They are beautiful because they are beautiful. Now every time I see them, I think, ‘Wow, that’s unexpected and amazing.’ “


Likewise, when a friend of the guy, who had just moved abroad, told me he was feeling homesick and heartbroken (a decisive combination), I sent a small bouquet of flowers to him. his apartment. Soon after, he sent me the photo (above) and these lines of text:

Him: You are the MOST serious ❤️

Me: Oh yay! I think you need some flowers. I have them including a bc jar I don’t know if you have one lol

Him: Unforgettable walk

Then a few days later:

Him: Love my flowers

How sweet? A man named Vince also recounted a lovely memory to Esquire Middle East: “The only time I received flowers was from someone I barely knew in college. It’s my birthday; I had a bad time. She asked if I could help her choose a gift for a friend, made me choose flowers and cakes, then replied, “This is for you!”

Think? Would you (or do) give flowers to men? I’d love to hear… And thank you readers for leaving that inspirational comment!

PS What does marriage mean?and the first emails that Alex and I sent each other (we were nervous!).

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